I got to connect with a great friend, Kim Violette around a topic that is near and dear to my heart: Blended Families. We have traveled a journey through divorce and remarriage, and while it was no walk in the park, we are both in a place where we are happily married again and our kids are doing just fine. We’ve learned that “a bad chapter doesn’t mean a bad story” in life. It’s just one season and doesn’t need to define everything.
Kim Violette is a Remarkable Woman working a dream job as a Mortgage Loan Officer with Integrity Mortgage. She is married to a Prince William County Police Officer, lives in Stephens City, VA, and has raised four girls – a combination of “yours, mine, and ours.” She loves encouraging others by sharing any wisdom she’s gained from her own life and has even written a book, Annie’s Miracle inspired from her childhood, and has another book in the works!
During our unfiltered conversation, Kim shares authentically about her own story, being married at a young age, and quickly realizing it was not the right choice, but not wanting to leave the relationship based on experiences from her own childhood. But she came to a point where she knew the relational toxicity was not healthy for herself or her girls, so she made a beautiful decision. She determined to make herself marketable in order to gain the freedom and confidence she needed to have choices and ability to take care of herself and her girls.
During this time in her life, the hardest part was just feeling very alone. I could relate. Separation and divorce are painful, and no one would wish for it, but there are times when it seems necessary. For myself, I didn’t want my daughters to look at my first marriage as an example for marriage. I wanted so much more for them, and knew I had to model it. But the “chapter” was certainly lonely.
We’ve learned how to roll with being blended families! It’s quite an adventure, and we both feel like we are winging it and working at it every day! For myself, I’ve told my step-daughter, that I’m not her mom, I’m just “bonus.” And we’ve both found healthy ways to maturely get along with our former spouses and even “team parent” when needed.
Kim and I want you to know that if you can relate to any parts of our story, please reach out to us. We want you to know that you are not alone. Post a comment below, or email us privately. We’d love to hear from you.
Click below to watch our unfiltered conversation on YouTube: