The Art of Intentionally Building Relationships

I always meet the most fascinating women through my Remarkable Women podcast. These are people I admire, and they are excellent examples of how I want to live my life. One such person is Eileen Scully, a Remarkable Woman living on the beautiful and peaceful Cape Cod, Massachusetts.  

 

Eileen is the founder of The Rising Tides, a global consulting firm focused on making the workplace a better environment for women. She is also the publisher of 52feminists.com, which publishes inspiring first-hand narratives by feminists from around the world and all eras and walks of life.

 

In our interview for my podcast, I was particularly struck by how much Eileen has been able to nurture and build relationships with some of the smartest people she could ever hope to know. In fact, in her 20+ years working in and around the research and advisory field, she has worked with and beside some great leaders—and she was lucky enough to be mentored by many of these individuals.

 

One of my favorite parts of our interview was hearing Eileen share her thoughts on the difference between a mentor and an advocate. Most of us probably haven’t even thought about the nuances here, but as Eileen explained, “it’s an entirely different mind shift” from one to the other.

 

Advocates allow for a two-way conversation, whereas mentors are usually a one-way-street. That’s why Eileen recommends that all women seek out a team of advocates who they trust and respect, and who will be brutally honest and share helpful feedback. Advocates are likely the ones who will share new opportunities or connections before you’d hear otherwise.

 

The best place to find these advocates is actually outside your own workplace or field. It was this team of advocates that proved most valuable to Eileen as she launched The Rising Tides. She describes her team as a “personal board of directors,” and she urges everyone to purposefully seek out their own team and start building those important relationships.

Embracing the Stages of Life

seasons of life

Have you ever stopped to think about the different stages of your life? We were all young once—we had our hopes and our whole lives ahead of us. Then we started pursuing our dreams, maybe settled down with a steady job and a family. What comes next?

My-Cherie Haley is someone who is intimately familiar with the stages of life. During my Remarkable Women podcast last year, she talked with me about the challenges she’s faced, and the insights she’s gained from acknowledging the different seasons of life.

My-Cherie seeks to live each day fully and bring her best to all she meets—something that definitely resonates with me. Also like me, she has a strong passion for inspiring others, particularly children. As the owner of a talent consulting agency and a professional model herself, she focuses on helping children and teens enter the modeling and acting world. She also coaches parents through the process. To top it off, she is a mom of two adorable children, earning a degree at St. Edwards University in Austin, and is involved in many community organizations.

Sounds like she has a lot on her plate, right? Well, one of the challenges My-Cherie related to me was that she loves to have a hand in everything, and that doesn’t often leave her time to focus on any one thing. She’s had to make tough choices.

For example, before she founded her consulting business, she worked as an artist hand-dying silk scarves. She felt like a failure when she thought about leaving that business to start her own agency. But ultimately, she realized that all of us have different roles at different times in our lives, and it’s okay to move on to something new.

Her advice: Follow your intuition. If there’s something you’re passionate about, do it. Believe that you are valuable and that you have something valuable to share with the world.

Now that My-Cherie has reached the stage in her life where she’s once again ready for that something new, she wants to focus on what she loves—and that’s working with remarkable women, doing either consulting or public speaking. For her, that clarity of focus comes from taking time for herself—Zen time, as she calls it—to think about and pray on the opportunities ahead.

My-Cherie says (and I agree) that, as women, we must learn to take care of ourselves first so that we’re mentally and physically strong to take care of our families. It’s crazy to me how women sometimes associate this mentality with selfishness. We need to break that cycle and set an example for our children and other women. If we take care of number one, then number two, three, and four will be all the better for it.

 

Be Your Own Self-Authority

Be Your Own Self Authority

What is “self-authority”? If there was a dictionary definition (and I checked—there isn’t), I think it would say something like: “Being in alignment with your true self.” For me, self-authority is the ability to take charge of my life—to go after my dreams and goals fiercely and confidently.

Earlier this year, I interviewed a woman named Cindy Battino for my Remarkable Women podcast, and she shared her wisdom and experience on being your own self-authority. Cindy is a life coach, speaker, and author who helps people to find happiness in their lives. Her business, Transformational Healing, provides clients with the resources to learn essential relationship and life skills.

Cindy was kind enough to share her own journey with me. She talked about how she realized that she had everything—a house on a huge plot of land with lots of beautiful animals—and yet she still felt she needed more. She stepped back and asked herself: “What am I looking for? Do I really need all this?” What Cindy realized is something I myself have also concluded: If “everything” is still not enough, then maybe we are focusing on the wrong things!

Cindy says there’s a healthy way to go after dreams in life, and it starts with knowing the difference between your real needs and your wants. Once you figure this out, you’re able to know what “enough” really looks like.

We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Constantly looking around at what everyone else has and comparing ourselves to others. Trying to fill a nameless void with the mysterious “something else.” Wouldn’t it be so much easier to define what is enough, or what equates to happiness, in our own lives? To not worry about what other people have, what they look like, what they think, what they do for a living?

We can all do this! It’s simple: Stop listening to the “white noise” of other people’s judgments, and you’ll become your own self-authority. Decide that you are enough. I promise you’ll be happier, satisfied, and more thankful for it!

Everything is an Opportunity

everything is an opportunity

Do you remember that 2008 movie, Yes Man? It’s about a down-on-his-luck loan officer (played by Jim Carrey) who promises to say “yes” to every opportunity that presents itself – no matter how silly or outlandish. Of course, Carl takes this promise to the extreme and all sorts of hijinks ensue before he ultimately realizes that he can, in fact, say “no” when he needs to.

But the overarching message of the film is a good one: When you open your mind to possibilities, everything is an opportunity.

I’m only using the movie plot as an illustration; I actually got the idea to write about this topic from a remarkable woman named Marcy Lambert-Pellegrino, whom I recently interviewed for my Remarkable Women podcast.

Marcy is the epitome of someone who sees everything as an opportunity. She owns two companies, hosts a podcast, is in the midst of writing a children’s book, and even has a TV show in the works!

In my discussion with her, Marcy mentioned how her recent move to Florida from New York City had been a challenge. She was used to the fast-paced, creative world of NYC, where new ideas and projects lit a fire under her on a regular basis. She said she missed the energy that came from collaborating frequently with other creative people.

Fortunately, Marcy is passionate about choosing a positive mindset, about having her own perspective and owning it. In fact, as a creative empath, she helps people to do that through her Facebook group (Love, Light, Energy), as well as through her businesses. This is what helped her to push through the slump that came with moving – by connecting with people all over the country who shared her same energy, and by seeing the opportunity in a difficult situation.

Next time you’re faced with something like this, follow Marcy’s sage advice. Look for the opportunity – even when you think it can’t be there. Opportunities present themselves in the unlikeliest of ways. We may find a new friendship, a key lesson, or an important insight or idea. If we expect the opportunity, we will usually find it!

Beautiful, Remarkable People

the-most-beautiful-people-we-have-known-are-those-who-have-known-defeatThere is no doubt about it. Life is hard. All kinds of daily struggles exist: health, finances, family relationships, natural disasters, etc. Sure, there is a range in degree, but for the most part, I’ve seen that everyone is dealing with SOMETHING.

The amazing thing to me is how different people respond to those struggles. Some complain about the mildest issues, and others shore up their courage and strength to weather the toughest storms.

It’s those people who struggle, dig deep, endure and thrive who are the most beautiful! They are truly remarkable women. Sometimes they don’t even realize how beautiful they are because of it. They inspire us all to step up. To care more deeply and linger a little longer.

If you know someone who’s gone through a personal struggle and come out on the other side, make sure to let them know how remarkable they are. Sometimes we don’t see that in ourselves and need someone else to point it out for us. You could send them a card out of the blue or a thoughtful gift, or just take them out for coffee. But make sure to let them know how beautiful and remarkable they are – from the inside out!

Remarkable Women Staying Healthy

staying healthy

I talk a lot about being remarkable – about doing remarkable things and going for your dreams. I think we all know that drive, passion, and perseverance are essential ingredients to this type of success. But what we often forget about – myself included – is the importance of healthy living.

There’s an old saying that goes, “Without your health, you have nothing.” It may sound trite, but trust me, it’s true. It can be so easy to get caught up in our lives and ignore our health. But all the accomplishments in the world don’t matter if you’re not well enough to enjoy the fruits of your labor.

As remarkable women, we must make time for ourselves. Here are a few necessary ways I recommend incorporating health into your lifestyle:

Workspace
I’ve learned that shaping a workspace to meet our physical and physiological needs really does matter. You want a workspace that connects with your personal goals both in terms of career and a healthy lifestyle. I personally love signs of all sizes and tend to gravitate toward those with inspirational messages.

Aside from adding inspiration, you can make your workspace healthier with a few simple modifications. For instance, replace your chair with a balance ball, get a personal water cooler to remind yourself to drink eight glasses a day, or use an ergonomic keyboard.

Diet & Nutrition

When it comes to diet and nutrition, remember that you’re not aiming for perfection. There are many ways you can improve your eating habits without starving yourself or crash dieting.

For one, take time to enjoy your food; really chew every bite, and don’t eat in rushed or stressful situations. To avoid unhealthy snacking or microwaving frozen dinners, plan out nutritious meals ahead of time. If it helps, use a meal delivery service like Blue Apron or Hello Fresh.

Focus on quality of ingredients and eat organic foods whenever possible. Don’t have time to get to the grocery store? Take advantage of online grocery delivery – whatever you need to do to avoid ordering unhealthy takeout. Supplement your diet with probiotics to improve your digestion. 

If you’d like direction and support to make these changes, consider a 30 days to Healthy Living Program that one of our Remarkable Women leads.

Fitness

This is going to be a tough one to hear, but you can’t ignore physical fitness. If you don’t already, make a cardio workout part of your daily routine. A 30-minute workout is all you need to keep your heart healthy and strong. I’m not saying you have to join a fancy gym or get a personal trainer. Just find something that is convenient and enjoyable for you, whether that means going for a run in your neighborhood, swimming at the community pool, or buying a treadmill for your home.

The key to good fitness is consistency. Make it routine. This has been a tough pill for me to swallow; it’s so easy to dismiss my daily workout for any number of reasons. But I’ve realized that on the days I work out, I feel happier, I feel accomplished, and I sleep better at night.

Mental Health

Health is not just about our physical well-being. As much as we try to plan ahead and juggle all the balls of business, family, and relationships, life can still get out of control with unforeseen changes or inherently busy seasons. That’s normal. But when it feels unbalanced, we can often lose a sense of peace and perspective.

I’ve come to learn how important it is to enjoy “me time”. Giving yourself a time out is very important. That is why I don’t feel like it is selfish to take that short trip to treat myself – or do whatever it is I want to do in order to feel refreshed.

When life gets out of balance, you may also want to seek out those friendships that are fulfilling. Schedule a coffee date or long-distance phone call. Be honest about how you are feeling. Good friends tend to always have the perfect thing to say at just the right moment.

What are your go-to tips for staying healthy?

Gifts She Will Love

gifts she will love

You know what I love? Giving gifts! And not just giving gifts, but giving remarkable gifts that people LOVE to receive. For me, choosing a gift for a friend is a personal challenge that I’ve been working on for years. I challenge myself, time and again, to delight my friends and family. Over time, I’ve honed my wisdom and develop tried-and-true techniques that really work.

Here are four go-to ways you can use to find gifts she will love:

  • Get her something you already know, use, or love. This gives you personal experience and credibility. Share a story as to why you love that particular gift, and why you thought she would as well. If it’s something that suggests an activity – like a set of colored pencils or a yoga mat – try doing the activity together!
  • Choose unique. Skip the mall gifts and the brand names. Instead, find a few custom brands that you love and support those smaller businesses by purchasing your unique gifts for friends from them. Or, find an older treasure at an antique market or vintage store. Your recipient will feel that she received something custom, unique, or rare. Plus, most people also really enjoy supporting local or smaller businesses. It’s a win-win!
  • Create something. The most special gifts are the ones you create yourself. That’s why I began offering customized, remarkable gifts like the Remarkable Women Wall Hangings Collection in my online store. These gifts are meant to inspire and help you remember what is most important in life. In the same vein, you can customize practically anything – a coffee mug, journal, notepad, mouse pad, refrigerator magnet – just as long as it’s something she sees on a daily basis. Every time she looks at your gift, she’ll remember the special thought you put into it.
  • Spend time together. Just being together doing ordinary things can be one of the best gifts. Use this precious time to do all the things she puts on the back burner, like painting her nails or catching up on her favorite TV show. The sky’s the limit when it comes to experiential gifts. Here are just a few of my ideas: Going to the zoo, wine tasting, museums, galleries, concerts, trivia nights, antiquing, and the list goes on. As long as the experience is relaxing and enjoyable, it will be a great gift for your girlfriend.

I just love unique and uplifting gifts. And I know this from experience, because I’ve both given as well as received them. What remarkable gifts have you loved?

 

Remarkable Women Podcast – Bahar Picariello

Screen Shot 2017-08-18 at 1.22.49 AM.png
IMG_9086Bahar Picariello is a Remarkable Woman living in Sterling, VA. She is a woman who has overcome many challenges and cares deeply about helping other women do the same. She does it all! She owns her own business and homeschools her two children – all as a single mom! She is the first to say that it requires great sacrifice and lots of hard work, but she cares enough to make it happen.

She knows what it’s like to have the rug ripped out from under you and can understand the challenges other women may be facing. Bahar is able to come alongside and help individuals rebuild and figure out how they can make their life better, even after hitting rock bottom.

She is known as a professional make-up artist and image consultant, but even deeper than that, she really seeks to help women get to the core of who they are so that they can feel confident in allowing their true personalities to shine. She wants women to feel comfortable in their own skin and to know which tools they can use to present themselves in the best way possible. We all know that this confident aura affects the way opportunities unfold for us.

Bahar gave us an awesome success tip that made me want to take action right away! Have you ever had someone suggest a fabulous idea, but life “got too busy” to really do anything about it? She would say, “Don’t let that happen again!” If we really want to see growth and change in our lives, we have to be willing to seek out the resources available to help us accomplish that goal. Sure, it takes time and financial investment, but any good thing is worth it! Don’t delay. The clock is ticking!

Bahar would love to connect with any of our listeners. You can find her on Social Media on Facebook and Instagram, and visit her website at BeautyTangent.com. She offers consultations for anyone seeking to enhance their initial impression, prepare for a public event, or seek that deeper growth in beauty from the inside out.

Risk It

risk it

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.” As you may know, I’m a big fan of Mrs. Roosevelt. So many of her sentiments ring true for me, including this one.

Could I have created Remarkable Women without a dream? No. Could I have done it without believing in that dream? Certainly not! Could I have done it without risking failure? No way.

When I was a kid, every day was an adventure. I never knew what was ahead, but I knew I wanted to grab life by the horns. I was so ready to grow up! Can you relate?

When I did grow up, I faced many obstacles – high school, college, the dreaded first break-up, the “dream job” I yearned for, and so on. That’s when I realized that growing up is hard work. With the freedom of being an adult comes risk and responsibility.

Here is my favorite part about real growth, though: There are no limits. Growth is not just about our age; it’s about our character and personality. We get to become better versions of ourselves every year – every day, even. Fortunately, I learned this pretty early on. I learned that growth is good, and the only thing standing in my way was myself!

Though I already had a decade-long career in real estate, I didn’t feel completely fulfilled. I didn’t really know what I was looking for, or what was even out there, because I had just stayed in my comfort zone. I could have let fear guide me, just as I had so many other times in my life. But I decided to get out of my own way and get to the other side of the fear.

So, I took a leap to allow possibility to feed my soul – and it started with something so simple: a casual meeting with a friend whose energy I loved. That one conversation opened my eyes to new possibilities, and it led me to creating a physical space – “a remarkable space” – where I could continue to explore my wants and needs.

Little did I know at the time, that space led me on a journey to creating Remarkable Women and the blog you’re reading right now.

The moral of my story is this: When we get out of our own way, there’s no telling where we can soar. When we embrace risk, every day becomes an adventure!

Women Finding Happiness

Screen Shot 2017-08-01 at 1.50.19 PMAre you happy?

Would you describe yourself as a happy person? Do you find yourself chasing happiness only to find that when you’ve arrived, it is fleeting and dissipates quickly?

Join us for the third and final podcast in our series, “Are You a Fierce Woman?” with life coach and author Cindy Battino as she shares keen insights around these questions. It has been such a treat to meet with Cindy to discuss “Women Feeling Enough,” and “What Does It Look Like to Be Fierce” in our previous interviews, and this one sure felt like a grand finale in this trio series!

I’m sure every woman will walk away with a special takeaway from Cindy’s insights. She dispels four myths that we all seem to believe in our quest for happiness. She reminds us that we are the only ones responsible for our happiness. We can’t give that power to someone else because they don’t know what to do with it! It has to start and end with us. In doing so, we learn that happiness is more of an inner choice and commitment versus an emotion based on outside circumstances or people.

Cindy encourages us all to choose one small thing to try to start doing in our pursuit of happiness and offers us five ideas and many concrete suggestions around each idea.

For example, she says that we should “Own what we’ve been given.” God made us all, and He doesn’t make mistakes. So each of us are perfectly imperfect, and we should allow ourselves the compassion and confidence in order to accept it. If we are Type A, driven, risk-takers, own it and go after your goals with fierceness. If we are careless dreamers who are periodically late or “messy,” own it and embrace the creativity and freedom you offer the world. Learn to accept a compliment graciously, and stop apologizing for the perceived “negative” aspects of your personality. They are part of the whole package that makes you uniquely you!

Cindy has a history of helping and teaching others in a powerful way. She is a life coach, dancer, personal trainer, speaker, author, and life changer. She encourages a positive and intentional life for her clients and helps them discover truth in safe environment through compassion, love, and acceptance.

She has a special program called, Love is a Verb that would be a perfect fit for any listeners seeking to embrace a new level of happiness and purpose in their lives. It’s a journey that requires a tribe of loving supporters. She is offering this 10-month program at a special rate for our listeners at $74.99/month (normally $99) and encourages you to grab a girlfriend or two and embark on the journey together. Contact her here and make sure to mention this Remarkable Women Podcast for the discount.