How to Communicate and Influence Others

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“You have a story to tell, and someone needs to hear your story because only you can help that person.” This is an inspiring quote by motivational speaker Les Brown, and it’s something he said to a friend of mine named Ria Story. A motivational speaker herself, Ria is a remarkable woman I interviewed earlier this year for my Remarkable Women podcast.

Ria shared many quotes and nuggets of wisdom with me, but the most memorable involved helping people communicate and influence others. She described the great courage it took to overcome her own fear in sharing her painful past.

By pushing through that, Ria learned she could genuinely help others to share their own stories. She realized that she could be “that” person who started conversations and shared information effectively.

Today, Ria helps people from all walks of life to learn the skills that enable them to gain influence and use it for the most impact. We all have positions of influence, whether it is in our family, workplace, or social circles. Ria is passionate about helping others see and understand the potential they all have inside of them.

One of my favorite parts of our conversation was talking about authenticity. We both agreed that it is most freeing to be honest with others (and ourselves) about our mistakes. She believes that doing so actually helps us build influence and credibility with others.

As Ria says, “We all have weaknesses. We know it. Others know it. The question is, ‘Do they know that we know it?’” There’s strength that comes when we are our authentic selves and don’t cave in to the pressure of conforming to someone else’s ideals.

Another success tip Ria shared is to be intentional about your own personal growth and development. This will help you gain more leadership and influence with other people.

Intrigued? If you want to learn more, I encourage you to connect with Ria on LinkedIn. You can also read her latest book, Leadership Gems for Women, in which she shares 30 precious gems of leadership wisdom on characteristics of very successful women—and insight on how you can develop them yourself.

The Art of Intentionally Building Relationships

roberto-nickson-430885I always meet the most fascinating women through my Remarkable Women podcast. These are people I admire, and they are excellent examples of how I want to live my life. One such person is Eileen Scully, a Remarkable Woman living on the beautiful and peaceful Cape Cod, Massachusetts.  

Eileen is the founder of The Rising Tides, a global consulting firm focused on making the workplace a better environment for women. She is also the publisher of 52feminists.com, which publishes inspiring first-hand narratives by feminists from around the world and all eras and walks of life.

In our interview for my podcast, I was particularly struck by how much Eileen has been able to nurture and build relationships with some of the smartest people she could ever hope to know. In fact, in her 20+ years working in and around the research and advisory field, she has worked with and beside some great leaders—and she was lucky enough to be mentored by many of these individuals.

One of my favorite parts of our interview was hearing Eileen share her thoughts on the difference between a mentor and an advocate. Most of us probably haven’t even thought about the nuances here, but as Eileen explained, “it’s an entirely different mind shift” from one to the other.

Advocates allow for a two-way conversation, whereas mentors are usually a one-way-street. That’s why Eileen recommends that all women seek out a team of advocates who they trust and respect, and who will be brutally honest and share helpful feedback. Advocates are likely the ones who will share new opportunities or connections before you’d hear otherwise.

The best place to find these advocates is actually outside your own workplace or field. It was this team of advocates that proved most valuable to Eileen as she launched The Rising Tides. She describes her team as a “personal board of directors,” and she urges everyone to purposefully seek out their own team and start building those important relationships. 

Remarkable Women Podcast – Bahar Picariello

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IMG_9086Bahar Picariello is a Remarkable Woman living in Sterling, VA. She is a woman who has overcome many challenges and cares deeply about helping other women do the same. She does it all! She owns her own business and homeschools her two children – all as a single mom! She is the first to say that it requires great sacrifice and lots of hard work, but she cares enough to make it happen.

She knows what it’s like to have the rug ripped out from under you and can understand the challenges other women may be facing. Bahar is able to come alongside and help individuals rebuild and figure out how they can make their life better, even after hitting rock bottom.

She is known as a professional make-up artist and image consultant, but even deeper than that, she really seeks to help women get to the core of who they are so that they can feel confident in allowing their true personalities to shine. She wants women to feel comfortable in their own skin and to know which tools they can use to present themselves in the best way possible. We all know that this confident aura affects the way opportunities unfold for us.

Bahar gave us an awesome success tip that made me want to take action right away! Have you ever had someone suggest a fabulous idea, but life “got too busy” to really do anything about it? She would say, “Don’t let that happen again!” If we really want to see growth and change in our lives, we have to be willing to seek out the resources available to help us accomplish that goal. Sure, it takes time and financial investment, but any good thing is worth it! Don’t delay. The clock is ticking!

Bahar would love to connect with any of our listeners. You can find her on Social Media on Facebook and Instagram, and visit her website at BeautyTangent.com. She offers consultations for anyone seeking to enhance their initial impression, prepare for a public event, or seek that deeper growth in beauty from the inside out.

Remarkable Women Podcast – Naheed Oberfeld

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naheed oberfeldNaheed Oberfeld is a Remarkable Woman from Rockville, MD. She has had a full career of working as an analyst, at the NASDAQ Stock Exchange, as a consultant for Ernst & Young, and now as a business coach in her own company. I really enjoyed connecting with Naheed and hearing her journey to pursuing something professionally that she truly enjoys.

Today, she gets to combine her Psychology degree, her experience in Corporate America, and her own experience and training with EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) to really help people uncover the things that may be blocking them from achieving all of their dreams. She works with business owners and executives and gives them the tools they need to figure out how to work through their “blocks.”

During our interview, Naheed shared great wisdom that she learned from her own challenges. During her 30’s she had been driving so hard, that she came to a point where she knew something would break down emotionally or physically at the rate she was going. She learned the importance of prioritizing a beautiful balance between work and family life and decided to maintain that balance as much as she could and sought out new tools to do so. We spoke a lot about a woman’s need to appear perfect, or to put on a positive show. Naheed walks us through the faulty beliefs that trigger those emotions and suggests some steps in gaining freedom from the need of others’ opinions, whether positive or negative.

This was a most unique Podcast for Remarkable Women listeners in that Naheed actually walks us through a unique experience during the Podcast – an “Inner Journey Exercise” where she guides us through a powerful visualization technique in an attempt to uncover any underlying faulty beliefs. This is not an exercise in self-judgment. On the contrary, we just want to look at our emotions and triggers honestly so that we can deal with them and then release them and let go.

You’ll want to listen in so that you can walk through the exercise for yourself. If you’d like to connect with Naheed personally, she welcomes it. Her website, Oberfield Coaching is a great place to start.

Remarkable Women Podcast – Marcy Lambert-Pellegrino

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marcy lambert pellegrinoMarcy Lambert-Pellegrino is a Remarkable Woman living Tampa, FL. Marcy is a busy creative, owning two companies, Sassi Creative Agency and Two Girl Productions, hosting a Podcast, and enjoying her family. She is used to the fast paced, creative world of New York City where she used to live and always has new ideas and projects in the fire.

Marcy is passionate about seeing people choose a positive mindset, about having their own perspective and owning it. She helps people to do that as a creative empath, through her FaceBook Group, “Love, Light, Energy,” and through her businesses, particularly Two Girl Productions which helps athletes and entertainers with their branding and PR. She and her best friend Kate, even have a TV show that is in the works! In addition, she is writing a children’s book for kids with OCD, ODD, and ADD/ADHD. She is one busy woman!

Moving to Florida recently was a challenge for Marcy. The slower paced life was relaxing for a bit, but she was missing the energy that comes from collaborating frequently with other creatives. Thankfully, she was able to push through the slump by connecting with people all over the country who shared her same energy.

Marcy shared two pieces of key advice with us:

  • Everything is an opportunity – Even those situations that don’t always look like it initially. They may offer a new friendship, a key lesson, or an important insight or idea. If we expect it, we will usually see them.
  • Trust your instincts – It steers us well. We just have to believe it even though our brain and logic may be telling us something different. Don’t do something out of fear. Trust your gut.

You can connect with Marcy via LinkedIn and her website where you will find more information about her Podcast and upcoming projects. She’d love to connect with you! 

Women Feeling Enough

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Cindy headshot 2This is the second part of our series, “Are You a Fierce Woman?” with Cynthia Battino. Today we focus on the idea of “Women Feeling Enough.” This is so key, so foundational to having a chance at being “fierce.” There’s a healthy way to go after dreams and goals in life, and it starts with knowing what your real needs vs. wants are. It’s a game-changer when you have clarity about this. You’re able to know what enough really looks like.

Cindy is so insightful, and I appreciated her sharing her journey with us. She shared her own story of having a huge house on a huge plot of land with a huge truck and so many animals and still not feeling like it was enough. You’ll have to listen to hear about what finally made her step back and start asking the question, “Do you need all that?”

When we don’t know when “enough” is “enough” in a good way, we are left wondering all the time. We look around and compare to try to measure up. But the measuring stick also changes all the time, so there’s an insecurity or deep void when we look in the mirror and are not sure, and so we just keep trying to fill it up more from things on the outside.

What if we got to decide for ourselves what our “enough” looks like? When our body looks good enough for today? When our career path offers enough value and income? When we have enough good friends? We can stop listening to the “white noise” of other people’s judgments and be our own self-authority.

And then, once we are clear on what our “enough” is – likely a combination of needs and reasonable wants – then we can really experience gratitude – geyser-like gratitude! We are aware and honest enough to acknowledge the effort, the progress, the success, and we can step back and really be thankful.

This is a personal journey that looks different for everyone. But there is great freedom that comes from knowing that no matter what we do, there will always be people who hate us or who do not approve. That’s okay. We can’t make everyone like us. But when we like ourselves……that’s when we feel enough……that’s when we can be fierce.

I hope you get to listen in as you will appreciate Cynthia’s stories, wisdom, and humor, and overall joy. Feel free to connect with her as well at Transformational Healing.

 

Remarkable Women Podcast – Michelle Perzan

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Michelle Perzan is a Remarkable Woman from Canada who now lives in Katy, Texas. She is a wife to an amazing husband and a mom of three boys, ages 11, 9, and 6. Michelle recently published a book that shares her story, Strength in My Storm and she speaks regularly around the country.

Michelle inspired me as she shared about her journey with breast cancer. She is a survivor and thriver, and uses her own struggles to encourage others in the middle of their storms. She grew up in a home with incredible parents and entrepreneurs who taught her that she could do anything. But it wasn’t until her experience with cancer that she felt like she realized her true purpose in life and that she could step into it with complete boldness and confidence.

That boldness and confidence didn’t happen overnight, though. It was a journey of realizing that she was meant to share her story with other people to inspire and serve them. With the help of a business coach, she was able to step out of her introversion. She says that when we take ourselves out of the equation, it’s amazing how much we can do. It’s not about us. We aren’t concerned about how we look or sound when our main goal is to help others. It’s about them.

The same is true when you are connecting with anyone who is journeying through cancer. Sometimes we may not know what to say. But Michelle says that as long as we have a genuine heart and interest, the care and intent will be felt. Authentic questions or texts to check-in or just a loving hug or surprise thoughtful gifts make a world of difference to someone going through cancer.

Michelle shares a great success tip with us: Lean on your faith, whatever that looks like. Every day, for every decision. In doing so, you will find the power to get through anything.

You can find Michelle via her website at michelleperzan.com or on LinkedIn, and she will be sharing her story soon on a Podcast with VOW (Voices of Women) radio. She is active in her community and began the GEST Foundation to help others traveling through the hard journey of cancer. Feel free to reach out to her; she’d love to hear from you. 

Remarkable Women Podcast – Cheryl Piper-Snyder

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cheryl 140dpi 23 (1 of 1)Cheryl Piper-Snyder is a Remarkable Women from Waynesboro, PA. She is a business and executive coach, as well as a holistic and HeartMath coach. Her real passion is helping others live whole and full lives, and so her training and experience meets people in whatever realm they are – business or personal –  as she helps them to grow and thrive.

I found it fascinating to learn about the “brain, mind, heart” connection from Cheryl, and how those intangible emotions can be visually tracked and measured. In tracking, we feel like we can better control them instead of just reacting and feeling at a loss. Cheryl helps people get to that state of control, calm and resilience.

She says that one of the biggest challenges in life is when we are in the middle of things that seem to be spinning out of control. It’s important to remember that those experiences are leading us to the “next best thing in our life.” We want to allow ourselves to slow down instead of create such a busy life that we are not able to take that control and find that time of reflection and calm.

In addition to Cheryl’s success tip of “Keep Learning,” I appreciated her encouragement to “Judge Less.” Instead of judging others, we can offer compassion which builds trust and makes communication just easier overall. We don’t do well as humans when we are responding to each other out of fear, and unfortunately, that is what happens when we give off a feeling of judgment. It shuts down any flow, creativity or openness between us.

Cheryl recommends several books and websites:

You can find her speaking as the Keynote at The New Holistic Leaf expo in Maryland this summer. Connect with her on LinkedIn or peruse her websites at Alchemy Holistic Life Coach or ConversationalCocktails.com.

Are You a Fierce Woman?

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cindyI’m very excited to introduce our newest series, “What Does It Look Like To Be Fierce?”

Today’s focus is, “Women Being Fierce,” and our special guest is Cynthia Battino, a life coach, speaker, and author who shares her wisdom and experience with us in an honest and fun way. I appreciate her authenticity and humor so much!

This is a Podcast you do not want to miss! As a woman, when was the last time you felt fierce? You know, focused and strong, yet fully-present and kind.

Some women feel this way in a couple areas in their lives; some, unfortunately do not feel this at all. What if you could? What if you were intrepid? What if you were fierce in all areas of life, both personal and business?

Cindy shares her own journey of healing with us and her choice to confront the residue of abuse in her childhood in order to trust herself more, trust others more, and stop the generational dysfunction in her family. Similar to myself, she wanted her own children to have a different story than her own.

She reminds us that our children are always learning from us – by who we show up as, not by what we say to them. If we are miserable, we are teaching them how to be miserable. If we are bitter, we are teaching them bitterness. But on the flipside, what if we could teach them how to be happy, free, fierce….because that’s what we lived out ourselves! That would be amazing!

And it’s possible. Cindy and I want this fierceness, this happiness for every one of our listeners. Fierceness is about our heart. We need to choose to step out of our comfort zones, and walk through that healing journey, not only for ourselves but for the betterment of all those around us.

We are all different as women. Some of us need to complete our fierceness by being more soft…some need to “shore up” and become more structured and grounded in strength. Either way, the journey (albeit ongoing) is worth it!

Cindy has many resources to share with us on this journey, and encourages you to email her at cindy@transform-heal.com for her special list. One book on that list is Embrace Your Magnificence by  Fabienne Fredrickson.

You can also schedule a personal meeting with Cindy either locally or via Skype or purchase her books and Interactive Online program. But you must check out her new Podcast with her husband, “Cindy and Jay Sittin’ In a Tree…” as well as catch us in our next podcast together, “Women Feeling Enough.”

Remarkable Women Podcast – Suzy Teele

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suzy teeleSuzy Teele is a Remarkable Woman from Pittsburgh, PA. She has had a very successful career in the technology and start-up sphere, filling executive, entrepreneurial and advisor roles. She has a passion for helping technology companies grow profitably and particularly enjoys helping women develop their careers by strengthening both their leadership and networking skills.

Suzy is a Pittsburgh native, and has a deep love for her city and community. She’s a self-proclaimed, “nerd-at-heart,” and s is active across the board in both the start-up world, working around healthcare, robotics, and software as well as in the non-profit world. She seeks to share her knowledge and experience with others through volunteer organizations like WELD which helps women develop their careers from a leadership standpoint.

I loved hearing Suzy’s passion and career journey! Her lens on any challenge was purely positive, sharing them as opportunities for herself to grow personally.  She has been able to “grow up” in her career as the technology industry was “growing up” itself, and it was exciting for her to be a part of it all. She says that technology is still an amazing career path for women. There are always jobs available, and they pay well.  

Listen in closely as Suzy shares of how she grew from one particular challenge. It was a struggle for about six months, but she allowed it to shape her positively. She chose to reflect on the situation and then grew her self-confidence and belief. The challenge actually catalyzed future opportunities within her company and also helped launch her into her own business shortly after!

Her success tip flows from this experience and also her extensive involvement in her community: Grow your network. Build your relationships. She says that it will be a defining factor in your career success. She encourages us to seek out activities or workshops in our own communities at least a couple times a month to meet new people. Great idea!

Suzy struck me as a very driven person. She is like me in that we hate to be bored! She loves making an impact in the lives of those around her – her family with six children especially, as well as her Pittsburgh community.

Suzy would love to hear from you. You can visit her consulting company’s site at Aceda or connect with via LinkedIn.